Self Deception
by ddeokbxkkii
Summary: In the end, she was unable to convince herself that the relationship between Captain Levi and Squad Leader Hange was just plain comrades. Levi's and Hange's relationship, in the eyes of Petra.


**warning: i did not proof read! yet.**

* * *

The first time Petra saw the Captain was a day after she joined the Survey Corps. She had heard of all the stories about the Humanity's Strongest, about how he could bring down a hoard of titans at once and how he's as strong as one whole brigade.

Petra saw him in action during her first expedition. She was scared out of her wits, facing titans was so much scarier than the stories she heard. Her squad was almost fully annihilated and being a recruit, no matter how skilled she was during training, she couldn't save any of the others. Just when she thought it's the end, Levi appeared.

It all happened so fast but she knew that Captain Levi saved her and her very injured Squad Leader.

"Go meet up with the main group."

"But Captain—"

"I will handle the rest."

Petra obeyed but not after she had a quick glimpse of the Captain riding away on his horse. Right at that moment, she thought that if she was his surbodinate, she would give her all.

Petra did not expect her wish to be granted when Erwin announced that they would be forming a Special Operation Squad with Levi as their leader.

She ended up as one of the selected four. When she heard that they were handpicked by Levi himself, she couldn't help but feel a little proud and honoured.

Indeed, Levi wasn't someone to be close easily and he definitely wasn't a man with many words. She had never seen him smile and there's still always a scowl on his face but she could also tell that he treasured each of his squad members' lives.

As she continued to work under him, she realised that her admiration for him continued to grow too.

* * *

The first time Petra started convincing herself was when they started training with the Fourth Squad which was also Squad Hange. Squad Leader Hange didn't really had a good reputation around. She was known to be eccentric or what others like to call her, a mad scientist. She didn't seem like someone who cared about hygiene much.

But for some reason, she seemed to be able to click well with the Captain who always made sure that everything's clean.

"Levi!" Hange would always greet him excitedly, swinging her arm across Levi's shoulders. During their first training together, Petra thought that her Captain would punch the Squad Leader in the guts for touching him.

But he didn't.

Which surprised not only her but the whole Levi Squad. However, the members from Hange's squad didn't seem to find it a big deal.

So, despite that weird feeling growing in her, Petra also did not find their interactions a big deal.

* * *

The second time Petra brushed off the unsettling feeling in her was during her first Christmas as part of the Levi Squad. She had thought that it would just be a simple dinner between the five of them since Levi didn't seem like the kind to like huge gatherings.

However, she was surprised yet again.

While Oluo, Erd, Gunther and herself were almost done preparing the dinner table in their special squad's room, they could hear laughter and the loud voice of a certain Squad Leader.

"Come on Levi! I know that your squad's preparing a nice dinner for today. They would be disappointed if you continue to coop yourself up in your room."

"Since it is my squad preparing, why the hell are all of you here?"

"Let's say it's a habit." The four members of Squad Levi was surprised to hear their Commander's voice and he sounded a lot less stern as usual. "Just to make you feel better, Hange dragged me out too."

When Levi appeared in front of his squad, Erwin was standing by his side with a smile that the four soldiers rarely saw. Mike and Nanaba were behind them. But what caught Petra's attention most was Hange's arm hooking with Levi's.

Petra, along with the other three men saluted.

"Hello Levi Squad!" Hange was the first one to greet them. "Today's a special day—"

"Oi Hange." Levi tried to stop her but Hange completely ignored him. However, before she could continue, Moblit's loud voice echoed instead.

"Squad Leader Hange!"

Everyone watched as the man came running with Nifa behind him. She was holding onto something carefully and when she stopped in front of Hange, Petra noticed that it's a cake.

"You forgot this, Squad Leader." Nifa held out, to Petra's surprise, in front of Levi. "Happy Birthday, Captain Levi!"

"Right, the cake." Hange laughed. "Put it on the table, we can smash it into Levi's face later."

That statement brought different reactions to the people in the room. The survivors from five years ago had an amused expression, Moblit and Nifa were both smiling nervously, Oluo's jaw dropped at Hange's straightforwardness, Erd and Gunther laughed in an awkward manner.

As for Petra herself, she was surprised at the new knowledge.

"It's your birthday, Captain?"

Levi only grunted as a response.

"He's just shy." Hange interrupted and gave Levi's head a gentle pat which made the man scowled even more. But Hange didn't seem to care and instead, shifted her attention to Levi's squad. "I got Moblit and the others to make more food just in case. Knowing that shorty, he probably hid his birthday from you guys but now that you know, you're obliged to join in the celebration from this year onwards!"

"Don't give stupid commands to my team."

As the room started to fill with laughs and fun, Petra couldn't help but keep sneaking glances at the pair. Hange kept trying to feed Levi and teasing him at the same time. Neither Commander Erwin nor the other leaders seemed to worry about it; Squad Hange may seem nervous but like before, Petra could tell that they didn't find it a big deal.

Despite feeling like their Captain seemed to have some bonding with Hange's Squad, Petra didn't think too much about it after that.

Slowly, Petra and the rest of the Levi Squad got used to how their Captain interacted with Hange. The trust between the team grew as they went on more missions and expeditions together. Soon enough, Petra forgot about the unsettling feeling she once had.

* * *

No one knew when it started but Hange had been pestering their Commander about a new proposal. A proposal that made her reputation as a crazy person even more true.

Hange wanted to catch a titan alive.

During that one night when Petra was submitting her report to Levi, Hange barged into the room without knocking. Petra was shocked but Levi was unfazed by it.

"Levi!" Hange started whining which made Petra wondered if Hange knew that she's there. As if reading her thought, Levi gave an indication for her to leave.

"You got rejected by Erwin."

"Can't you convince him for me?"

"No— Oi Four Eyes, that's my bed."

"I'm sleeping here."

Petra paused in her tracks when she heard Hange's words after she closed the door to Levi's room.

"Don't make me kick you out."

However, Levi's response gave Petra a sense of relief as she walked away and back to the barracks.

The next time Petra observed their interactions was during the expedition three days later.

"Levi."

As they were waiting for the gate to open, Petra along with the rest of the squad waited patiently behind their leader.

"No." Petra heard Levi's response to Hange.

"I have not even said anything."

That was exactly what Petra thought too as she tried not to be bothered by it.

"You want me to help you catch a titan, right?"

Petra blinked, after being under Levi for a while, she came to accept that Levi and Hange, along with the other veterans had a certain bond with each other. But that was the first time she'd seen her Captain and the Squad Leader interacted like this.

Almost as if there wasn't any need for proper sentences.

Petra heard the gate opening and shook her head slightly. _Maybe it's because of the conversation they had a few days before._ Right now, she had to focus on the expedition.

However, not soon after, Petra witnessed another interaction between the pair.

"Squad Leader, it's dangerous to go off by yourself!" Moblit's voice caught everyone's attention, including the Commander.

"Erwin, I'm going ahead first!"

Petra's eyes widened when Hange sped off with her horse. She knew Hange's different but to run off alone was similar to suicide.

Especially not when there's a hoard coming.

"Levi!"

Petra heard Erwin's voice. Before she could react, she saw Levi's horse speeding off towards Hange's direction. She and the rest of her squad members hurriedly got onto their horses, going after their leader.

_When did Captain got onto his horse anyway?_

They managed to catch up with Levi and by the time they do, an abnormal was already chasing after Hange. Levi had tried to catch its attention but the titan continued to chase after Hange.

Despite the urgency of the situation, Petra managed to hear that worried curse from Levi as he followed after the titan and Hange.

"That idiot." She heard him again before he gave them a command. "We are going to take it down right here!"

Levi did. Even though Hange's recklessness had almost gotten Oluo killed, Levi still ended up killing the titan, leaving no casualties. However, instead of worrying about Oluo, Hange was muttering about how they could have gotten more information from the titan.

Petra felt slight anger but when she saw Levi grabbing Hange by her uniform, the anger disappeared. Instead, she ended up worrying about what Levi would do to their fourth squad leader.

"Oi Shitty Glasses, if you want to end up as titan's poop, I won't stop you. But do not get my team into danger."

Petra had never seen that much emotion on Levi's face so even though it's purely anger, she was still surprised.

"Titans don't poop. They don't have a digestive system."

She heard Hange replied and for a brief second, she saw the anger in Levi's eyes disappeared as he pushed her back onto the ground.

That was when she realised that Levi's more mad at Hange almost getting herself killed. But again, Petra managed to convince herself that she overthought the situation.

* * *

Petra stopped convincing herself after that one time Hange got seriously injured.

It was raining and every soldiers in the Survey Corps know that the rain was one of their biggest obstacles when they're out the walls. Most of the squads have managed to return to the temporary base they've built. However, there were still a few that was missing.

Hange's Squad was one of the few.

"Oi Erwin, did you see Hange's squad?"

Of course, Levi would have noticed it too but before the Commander could make any reply, Moblit's shout caught both their attention.

"Captain!" The man stumbled with an injured soldier and following behind was Keiji with a very injured Nifa with a few other soldiers.

"Squad Leader Hange—" Moblit tried to explain but the soldier he was holding on collapsed beside him. Levi stepped forward, wanting more explanation but a bloody hand grabbed onto his wrist instead.

"Captain…" Nifa managed to force out. "Squad Leader.. to save me… save us. She's still out there."

"We need some medics here!" Erwin bellowed. Levi used that chance to get to his horse, heading into the rain before anyone realised.

When Petra saw him next, he was covered in blood and some of them weren't evaporating away. She and the rest stood up immediately but it was after they saw an unconscious body behind Levi then they knew that the blood didn't belong to him.

"Hange!"

"Squad Leader!"

Levi got off the horse, holding onto the unconscious Hange in his arms carefully. When they were in the building, he was holding her in such a gentle way like she's a porcelain doll. His hands were shaking, Petra noticed. Whether it's because of the rain or was it fear, she had no idea.

Moblit was the first to step forward, wanting to provide some help with the first aid kit in his hands but Levi's reaction stopped him.

"Don't touch her!" He growled in a low tone but Petra who had always been observing him, them, could hear the fear in his voice.

"Levi." Erwin rested a hand on Levi's shoulder and that was enough for the Captain to understand.

"I'm sorry…" Levi muttered, his grip on Hange's shoulder tightened subconsciously. "Just bring me the first aid kit. I will do it myself."

Moblit nodded and handed the box to Levi which he then left after that. Erwin gave Hange another worried glance before he left the pair too. When Petra came to her sense, she saw that her team member had left too.

She took another glance at her leader who was tending to the Squad Leader with such gentle touch. Watching the scene and the tenderness on Levi's face, Petra felt like she was intruding something private.

With one last look, Petra walked away too.

Unable to convince herself that the relationship between Levi and Hange was just plain comrades.

* * *

**` i've always wanted to write something in petra's point of view. i don't hate her, it's just i feel like she would be watching them a lot like that scene in the OVA. and from her conversation with Eren in the castle, i conclude that she didn't know Levi at all. so yeah, to me it's all one sided and i thought of this.**


End file.
